Shock Trade News and Updated Schedule
Admirals "Star" traded to unnamed eastern team for a bag of pucks
September 17, 2003
The Minneapolis Admirals Directorate of Public Relations issued a press release that announced Steve Fitz has been traded to an unnamed team in Maryland for a bag of pucks. The deal was finalized last week, and Fitz played his last game with the Admirals on Monday. The team admitted that while it was tough trading one of its leading scorers from last year's disappointing 3 win season, team captain Apur Patel noted that "Fitz's on-ice production had steadily declined over the past years". Patel refused to comment on rampant rumors that Fitz was a detrimental presence in the locker room. Defensive stalwart Nick Kettner said that he wouldn't miss Fitz's lack of commitment on defense. "In covering for Fitz, " Kettner said, "I was forced to trip, check and bully more because we'd be outmanned in the defensive zone. That's not my game. I prefer the finesse game." It has also been widely reported that the two-time Admirals MVP is the primary suspect in the mysterious disappearance of "KJ's" Admirals Toronto trophy. "That's between KJ, Fitz and law enforcement authorities" said a team spokesperson.
The team also refused to comment on the future of Team Pakistan captain Sach Darji -- the subject of frequent trade rumors involving a bag of pucks. "We could always use more hockey tape in the locker room" Assistant Captain Adrian Abramshuk said without confirming that a Darji for a roll of tape trade was in the works.
The Team also announced the following pre-season scrimmages which are, as always, free to Admirals season ticket holders.
Monday Sept. 22 8.40 pm -10.10pm at Burnsville
Saturday Sept. 27 5.45pm - 7.15pm at Richfield versus the Grey Dragons
Saturday October 4 12.45pm - 2.15pm at Richfield versus the Phantoms
